I had a humbling experience today. Last week our 19 year old daughter D had made the decision to move to Nevada and stay with her aunt and uncle until she could get a job and find some roommates there. This decision was a very good one for many reasons, including that it would get her out of a bad relationship and allow her to be with more people her own age who have similar goals and values. Anyway, I had helped her get her tires fixed on her car, did her taxes so she would have money to make the move, and came over to help her pack up her car. Her boyfriend was crying and trying to convince her that things would be better if she stayed. I packed everything in her car for her and then waited while she talked to him. Finally, D was ready to leave. She was going to drive part of the way and spend the night with her sister C (our oldest daughter) and her new husband. D came out to the house to get a box of things to take to her sister. While she was here her boyfriend called so she went back to town to talk to him. D decided she was going to stay. Of course I was very disappointed because we had prayed and worked so hard to find a way to get D out of the situation she was in. I did not know what to do, but felt that I just needed to give it time and things would work out. I called LaVelle and told him what had happened. He was very disappointed as well and wanted me to go over to her place and get her so he could talk to her on the phone (she does not get good phone service where she was staying). Even though my feeling had been to just give it time I did what he asked me to because I want to respect my husband's authority as the patriarch in our family. So I went back to town, got D, and drove to another spot with her so her daddy could talk to her. After LaVelle talked to D I talked to her a little bit too. She still decided that she was going to stay, but asked me to leave the house unlocked in case she decided to come home that night. When she did not show up that night I was worried that it would be weeks or even months before she would be wanting to try again to go to Nevada even though just a couple of days before she had felt so strongly that it was the right thing for her to do. Surprisingly, just a couple of days later she called me and said she was headed to C's.
Anyway, I talked to D today. She is so happy in Nevada with her aunt and uncle and is already making new friends and enjoying being involved with our extended family members that live there. She told me that she just needed a little more time to make sure she was making the right decision and that was why she had stayed the extra days. She also told me that when I had come and talked to her that night it had just annoyed her. My first reaction was to be frustrated with LaVelle. I had felt that the right thing to do was just to give it some time. I was confused and upset because I want to follow my husband as the patriarch of our home, but sometimes the things he wants me to do seem to go against my own feelings and impressions. I had prayed to know what to do, but had gotten a different answer than the one LaVelle got. I know that LaVelle is a good man though. He prays and tries to do what Heavenly Father wants him to do in leading our family. In my confusion and frustration today I decided to pray for understanding so I would know what to do if this ever happens to me again. I wanted to know if I should listen to my own impressions or just do what LaVelle tells me to do. The answer I got surprised me, yet at the same time made perfect sense and felt so right and good. I realized that although LaVelle and I had each gotten different answers we had both gotten the answer to what we needed to do in the situation. The things LaVelle had said to D were not what irritated her, in fact some of the things he said had helped her. He was supposed to talk to her and I was supposed to keep my mouth shut and just give D time to make her decision. I had thought that I needed to talk to her too, but my job was just to get her to a place where her daddy could talk to her. So my answer is that whenever the things I feel I should do seem to contradict what LaVelle feels needs to be done I will realize that we probably both got the answers to what we individually need to do. If our answers still seem to contradict I will pray more for understanding. I know that even though LaVelle is the patriarch and leader in our home I should not blindly follow him without seeking to know what Heavenly Father wants me to do, but neither should I try to make him follow what I think should be done.

I, Deborah, am finally starting a blog. This is definitely going to be a new experience for me. I have been inspired by my old high school friend's wife Denise, aka "The Sassy Homemaker". I have followed her blog for over a year now thinking that I should try creating my own, but being intimidated because hers is so funny, clever, and inspiring. Finally, I just decided to go for it and try this blogging thing out. For now it will just be my daily experiences, to be shared with my husband of 26 years, who is currently working 12 hours away from home. I only get to see him a few days a month so maybe this will be another way we can stay close to each other. I love you darling!!